The Christmas and New Year season always brings out the most reflective emotions in me and this year was no different. There was little I could do to prevent past memories from returning and even though I spent a pleasant enough Christmas Day with friends and family, I couldn't help but feel very much alone as I thought of my last Christmas in Geelong seven years ago. It was spent with my ex-wife Diane and our little family of pets... to me that was what Christmas is meant to be - shared with those you truly love and feel where you rightfully belong. Sadly, those days have long since passed and will never return.
New Years Eve is just a couple of days away and this will be yet another time of reflection for me. I will be spending it "home alone", probably watching television in bed after my support worker leaves around 10 p.m.
A few weeks back I forwarded copies of chapters 1 and 2 of the final draft of my autobiography to ten specially chosen friends and family members, with a view of getting their opinions on whether I was wasting my time pursuing it's publication and, in general, seeking their input as to where/how/if it could be changed to be of most interest to the general public. Of those ten, only three responded by asking me for more chapters. This comes as somewhat of a disappointment, although there could be any number of good reasons for their lack of response.
I believe - and I have been advised by several people - that I have an interesting story to tell, so I obviously want to do it in the best way possible... simply to leave something of myself behind that may prove of interest and possible motivation to others. 28 chapters have been written with one or two more to complete when/if I get the incentive. This has already been a work in progress for the past 12 - 15 years and I am determined to take it as far as possible in the coming year, even if I self-publish, either in book form or on the web.
So, there you have it... my hopes and ambitions for 2009 - to find a soulmate and publish my autobiography - both carried over for several years. Will either eventuate is the million dollar question, but as each year passes the urgency is becoming more intense - for obvious reasons.
I would love to travel again to another country (maybe France, New Zealand or Singapore), but being tied to dialysis treatments three times a week will make this most unlikely - unless I have the operation to change to peritoneal dialysis, thus allowing me to take a machine wherever I go. I would also need the assistance of a friend (or partner) to travel with me for the purpose of connecting me to the machine each night... and to my mind this is not an ideal way to spend a holiday.
Hopefully I will return to this Blogging spot early in the New Year on a more positive note... being negative simply isn't the normal ME!!!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The End of Another Year... Phew!
Think I'd better get this one out of the way as soon as possible! The last few weeks have been a mix of highs and lows... the latter including two bouts of gastro and several days in the local AND Austin (Melbourne) Hospitals. The Austin for an operation to remove blood clots from my fistula (dialysis tube in my right arm).
The highs included a couple of barbecues at my place... one for old friends and the other for my team of support workers (carers) and their families/friends. I also had a welcome visit from Barbara - a friend from Melbourne (pictured).
The next few weeks will include a night out with friends at the local Bendigo Club where my brother's band (The Impalas) will be providing the music and Christmas Day, where I have been invited to have lunch at the home of my carer Roberta and dinner with my daughter Leanne and her family (no more gastro PLEEEEASE God!!!).
New Years Eve (if I survive Christmas) will be a quiet one at home alone.
Until then my days will be spent doing the usual belated Christmas shopping, writing on and posting cards.
My best wishes to you and yours for a happy end of year... with thanks for reading my blogs.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Captain Cook sinks!
My team, sponsored by the Captain Cook Hotel, won its way into the Grand Final of the local darts league, but - as I predicted - we got thrashed! The scoreline of 6 games to 1 showed how outclassed we were, but it was still a good night with everyone enjoying the competition in the true spirit of the game. Our opposition, sponsored by the Manchester Arms Hotel, was a team of family members... the Bullocks, consisting of father Bullock, his daughter, three sons and a close family friend who, incidentally, has since formed a relationship with a female member of OUR team!
The father has also 'poached' one of our best players in an attempt to form a 'super' team for the next darts season, which commences late January 2009, so this leaves me back at square one to either form another new team or try to join an existing one.
Apart from darts, my life has continued in the usual manner with very few highlights. I attended the Bendigo Show, disputed a few transactions on my VISA card statement (which ended by me having it cancelled and issued with a new one), sold a few rings from my collection (if anyone would like to see a listing - including photographs and prices - please let me know), lost over $300 on a stupid "investment" when I 'clicked' on a lottery site promoting a syndicate entry BEFORE I realised how much I was about to pay and caught a dose of the 'flu'... apart from those events, my life has been very ordinary!
The father has also 'poached' one of our best players in an attempt to form a 'super' team for the next darts season, which commences late January 2009, so this leaves me back at square one to either form another new team or try to join an existing one.
Apart from darts, my life has continued in the usual manner with very few highlights. I attended the Bendigo Show, disputed a few transactions on my VISA card statement (which ended by me having it cancelled and issued with a new one), sold a few rings from my collection (if anyone would like to see a listing - including photographs and prices - please let me know), lost over $300 on a stupid "investment" when I 'clicked' on a lottery site promoting a syndicate entry BEFORE I realised how much I was about to pay and caught a dose of the 'flu'... apart from those events, my life has been very ordinary!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
At the Mayoral Ball
My support worker Roberta and I attended the local Mayoral Ball on Saturday, Sept. 13 and both agreed it was a good night... even though we left around 10.30 p.m. Roberta had had a late night the evening before, so was ready for an early bed time. Her mother agreed to 'baby-sit' Roberta's three children (all under the age of nine), but added "don't be too late". Roberta's gown (made to order on eBay from China) arrived just a day before the ball and drew complimentary remarks from all who saw her wearing it (see photo... that's me at the rear in my gladrags).
My only other news is that I am expecting a visit from Austin Hospital peritoneal dialysis staff this week to discuss the prospect of me switching from haemodialysis to this alternative. It has the advantage of being administered overnight at home, thus freeing up my daytime hours and enabling me to use it at other destinations.
On the other hand (possible DISadvantages), I will need to have an operation to (a) remove a hernia and (b) to insert a tube into my stomach for what is known as PD (peritoneal dialysis). Doctors are concerned that my ticker may not survive another operation of this nature after my close call last year, so a few questions have to be asked and answered before a final decision is made.
My present frame of mind dictates that I 'give it a go' as, even though I continue to 'think positive' most of the time, I feel I have little to lose if it gives me back more time for travelling and re-motivates me in other areas... like searching for a soulmate! Again folks, watch this space!
If you want to know more about my options, type either 'haemodialysis' or 'peritoneal dialysis' into your search engine.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
The last day of Winter
I'm not sorry to see the last day of Winter as it will mean I can look forward to going out more often, even if it's only for shopping! With no meaningful lady in my life I really have no one to take anywhere, although one event coming up on September 13 that I am really looking forward to is the local Mayoral Ball. I received an invitation and thought, "dammit, why not?" Next problem was to find a partner, so I asked one of my support workers, Roberta, to accompany me. Surprisingly (to me) she agreed and is now in the process of having a gown specially made for the occasion, while I have purchased a black bow tie to go with my rarely worn black suit coat.
August has been a fairly quiet month, apart from my thrice weekly dialysis treatments at the hospital and my weekly competition darts evenings. My darts team now sits on top of the ladder with only one loss over the first 9 rounds and just five more rounds before the finals. My personal tally stands at 11 wins and 3 losses, so I'm reasonably happy with that. Our team is slowly developing into a consistent unit and our scores are improving each week, so fingers crossed for the big matches to come.
My jewellery collection has doubled and I am now in the process of arranging ways of checking its real value, after which will come determining ways of selling it. One local jeweller has confirmed that I have bought at least three good quality items at a really good price through the online auctions, so that has heartened me to keep going. I have also started to buy items on behalf of friends who are looking for particular pieces of jewellery... they choose what they want from the site and tell me the maximum amount they wish to bid and I try to get it for them. I'm happy to do this for 'love', of course, as it allows me the feeling of being of value to someone.
And that to me, dear friends, is all important in my life.
August has been a fairly quiet month, apart from my thrice weekly dialysis treatments at the hospital and my weekly competition darts evenings. My darts team now sits on top of the ladder with only one loss over the first 9 rounds and just five more rounds before the finals. My personal tally stands at 11 wins and 3 losses, so I'm reasonably happy with that. Our team is slowly developing into a consistent unit and our scores are improving each week, so fingers crossed for the big matches to come.
My jewellery collection has doubled and I am now in the process of arranging ways of checking its real value, after which will come determining ways of selling it. One local jeweller has confirmed that I have bought at least three good quality items at a really good price through the online auctions, so that has heartened me to keep going. I have also started to buy items on behalf of friends who are looking for particular pieces of jewellery... they choose what they want from the site and tell me the maximum amount they wish to bid and I try to get it for them. I'm happy to do this for 'love', of course, as it allows me the feeling of being of value to someone.
And that to me, dear friends, is all important in my life.
Monday, July 28, 2008
A housewetting and moody motherboard
The day of my planned housewarming (on July 20) dawned bleak and showery... as it continued throughout the day. This, however, did not deter 22 resolute and faithful friends from turning up, armed with enough food and refreshments to quell the appetites of three times that many!
22, as it turned out, was just a nice number of buddies to enjoy the indoor activity which included barbecued meat cooked outdoors under shelter and lots of reminiscing, not to mention the singalong lead by my brother/guitarist, Geoff James, together with my old singing partner, Olive Bice.
Just two days earlier my computer spat the dummy for no apparent reason and refused to function. Even my learned brother, who is somewhat of a computer guru, could do nothing more than tell me my 'motherboard was stuffed' and it could cost upwards of $1000 to replace it. As it turned out he was spot on, except it cost $937! I now possess a nice new shiny black motherboard and a few less programs... which I hope to have restored as soon as possible.
It has been said that "to make money, you have to spend money', so, in an attempt to pay off my computer expenses, I have launched into becoming a buyer/seller of online jewellery. I bought three items at low cost on eBay, before discovering www.Bidz.com, which is an authentic online jewellery auction site. My new pastime sitting, eyes glued to the monitor screen and my blood pressure going up as my bank balance goes down, has cost me on the region of $400 so far.
I am now the proud but confused owner of one pearl necklace and seven diamond rings of various shades and sizes... proud of my ability to outbid several other would-be jewel collectors and confused as to what to do with my haul! Will I try to flog it to other buyers of jewellery throughout the country or sell it on eBay? Will I make a profit or end up chasing my losses? Or will I end up learning yet another lesson and give it all away as Christmas presents? Watch this space for the answers to these and many other intriguing questions!
In an earlier Blog, I referred to my problems with ambulance transport and my team of support workers. The ambulance situation remains unresolved, but I DO have a new support worker by name of Samantha, who is working out quite well despite her comparitive youth (she is 29) and inexperience.
Dialysis treatment of yesterday was a yucky experience as, following a hearty morning tea at the hospital and a lunch of chicken sandwiches, I developed a nagging headache which preceeded a "technicolour yawn of great proportions" and an early taxi ride back home.
Meanwhile, I am firmly entrenched as captain of the Captain Cook Darts Team. I still 'blow' my darts from a blowpipe instead of throwing them in the normal manner. Our team has two reasonably strong players (Bernie and me) and four inexperienced, inconsistent, but improving players (Jackie, Angela, David and Cook). We have won three of the first four weeks to date by the narrowest of margins, but have not yet played the two strongest teams. My personal tally sees me undefeated at this stage, but - luckily - I have not faced very strong opposition in my games.
This suits me as I am fairly tired after having dialysis treatment earlier that day (we play each Thursday) and I usually play the last game of the night... which could end up as late as midnight!
My life may not be all that wonderful at times, but it's never dull!
22, as it turned out, was just a nice number of buddies to enjoy the indoor activity which included barbecued meat cooked outdoors under shelter and lots of reminiscing, not to mention the singalong lead by my brother/guitarist, Geoff James, together with my old singing partner, Olive Bice.
Just two days earlier my computer spat the dummy for no apparent reason and refused to function. Even my learned brother, who is somewhat of a computer guru, could do nothing more than tell me my 'motherboard was stuffed' and it could cost upwards of $1000 to replace it. As it turned out he was spot on, except it cost $937! I now possess a nice new shiny black motherboard and a few less programs... which I hope to have restored as soon as possible.
It has been said that "to make money, you have to spend money', so, in an attempt to pay off my computer expenses, I have launched into becoming a buyer/seller of online jewellery. I bought three items at low cost on eBay, before discovering www.Bidz.com, which is an authentic online jewellery auction site. My new pastime sitting, eyes glued to the monitor screen and my blood pressure going up as my bank balance goes down, has cost me on the region of $400 so far.
I am now the proud but confused owner of one pearl necklace and seven diamond rings of various shades and sizes... proud of my ability to outbid several other would-be jewel collectors and confused as to what to do with my haul! Will I try to flog it to other buyers of jewellery throughout the country or sell it on eBay? Will I make a profit or end up chasing my losses? Or will I end up learning yet another lesson and give it all away as Christmas presents? Watch this space for the answers to these and many other intriguing questions!
In an earlier Blog, I referred to my problems with ambulance transport and my team of support workers. The ambulance situation remains unresolved, but I DO have a new support worker by name of Samantha, who is working out quite well despite her comparitive youth (she is 29) and inexperience.
Dialysis treatment of yesterday was a yucky experience as, following a hearty morning tea at the hospital and a lunch of chicken sandwiches, I developed a nagging headache which preceeded a "technicolour yawn of great proportions" and an early taxi ride back home.
Meanwhile, I am firmly entrenched as captain of the Captain Cook Darts Team. I still 'blow' my darts from a blowpipe instead of throwing them in the normal manner. Our team has two reasonably strong players (Bernie and me) and four inexperienced, inconsistent, but improving players (Jackie, Angela, David and Cook). We have won three of the first four weeks to date by the narrowest of margins, but have not yet played the two strongest teams. My personal tally sees me undefeated at this stage, but - luckily - I have not faced very strong opposition in my games.
This suits me as I am fairly tired after having dialysis treatment earlier that day (we play each Thursday) and I usually play the last game of the night... which could end up as late as midnight!
My life may not be all that wonderful at times, but it's never dull!
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Another Mess of the Blues!
They (whoever 'they' are!) say that things happen in threes. Well, the following has happened in my life over the past ten days...
My dialysis treatment days were changed from Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays beginning on July 3 (two days ago). This has been done to enable more patients access to the dialysis machines on what were the 'quieter' days and allow new patients to commence when the majority of staff are available.
With this change, the ambulance service which has transported me (free of charge) to/from dialysis treatments since January of this year has 'pulled the plug' as I am no longer considered to be in "need" of their services. The head nurse of the dialysis unit is of the opinion that I can travel in a wheelchair taxi to/from my appointments (at my own expense), thus freeing up an ambulance for more urgent cases... and, of course, the manager of the ambulance service has agreed to this suggestion as a means of cutting costs.
While this sounds quite reasonable, I have now been placed in a situation where I must travel to/from the hospital in my wheelchair, sitting on an ulcerated leg, whereas before I was conveyed on a stretcher (without pressure on my leg) and transferred to/from the hospital bed by the ambulance officers upon my arrival/departure.
The resultant extra work on hospital staff, I believe, outweighs the need of a wheelchair taxi. For example, the nurses must transfer me from/to my wheelchair to/from the bed and change the dressing on my leg before I go back in my chair and wait for the taxi to take me home.
The cost factor is another issue. Each visit will cost me in the vicinity of $14.00 which, at the moment, I really cannot afford - moving house has already cost much more than I anticipated, so this added expense has come at a bad time.
My support workers, doctor and ambulance officers are in disagreement with these new arrangements. They believe that I should be able to continue using the ambulance service until arrangements for my home dialysis are in place, which should be completed in about two months. The ambo's (ambulance officers) tell me there are two Code 3 ambulances set aside for non-essential transport (people like me), so they see no reason for any immediate change.
Meanwhile, my existing team of support workers (formerly known as 'carers') is being put under pressure by the fact that one (Julia) is going on extended leave next week. With this in mind, interviews have been taking place with potential candidates to be added to my team. Problems have arisen and many of those who would have been considered have dropped out due to delays in getting the essential paperwork (e.g. police checks, birth and qualification certificates, etc.) finalised by my service provider (ParaQuad) in order for them to start work with me.
I have had to call on past members of the team to come back and fill the gaps brought about by Julia's departure. Thankfully, this appears to be falling into place, although I will still need at least one new team member to come on board, so the sooner ParaQuad can get their act together the better. To be fair, ParaQuad are going through a transition of new staff who are still learning communication skills, so people like me have to be patient!
On top of all this, a close friend has been diagnosed with cancer and is about to undergo surgery.
On a brighter note, I attended the June 29 wedding of my nephew Nathan, to his lovely bride Jacquie, at the beautiful (but extremely cold) Tatra Receptions in Lilydale. It was a very happy occasion and did much to (briefly) dull the 'blues' surrounding me at the moment. My partner for the event was Barbara, a lady I met on one of the dating sites - very pleasant company and, hopefully, we will remain friends... but she has made it clear that's as far as our relationship will go!
I now look forward to July 20 when I am hosting my Housewarming Tea Party at my new residence in Strathdale. The 60+ invitations I mailed out have attracted only two responses at this stage, but RSVP date is not until July 12, so I'm hoping everyone is leaving their decision until the last minute (as they do!).
Such is (my) life!
My dialysis treatment days were changed from Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays beginning on July 3 (two days ago). This has been done to enable more patients access to the dialysis machines on what were the 'quieter' days and allow new patients to commence when the majority of staff are available.
With this change, the ambulance service which has transported me (free of charge) to/from dialysis treatments since January of this year has 'pulled the plug' as I am no longer considered to be in "need" of their services. The head nurse of the dialysis unit is of the opinion that I can travel in a wheelchair taxi to/from my appointments (at my own expense), thus freeing up an ambulance for more urgent cases... and, of course, the manager of the ambulance service has agreed to this suggestion as a means of cutting costs.
While this sounds quite reasonable, I have now been placed in a situation where I must travel to/from the hospital in my wheelchair, sitting on an ulcerated leg, whereas before I was conveyed on a stretcher (without pressure on my leg) and transferred to/from the hospital bed by the ambulance officers upon my arrival/departure.
The resultant extra work on hospital staff, I believe, outweighs the need of a wheelchair taxi. For example, the nurses must transfer me from/to my wheelchair to/from the bed and change the dressing on my leg before I go back in my chair and wait for the taxi to take me home.
The cost factor is another issue. Each visit will cost me in the vicinity of $14.00 which, at the moment, I really cannot afford - moving house has already cost much more than I anticipated, so this added expense has come at a bad time.
My support workers, doctor and ambulance officers are in disagreement with these new arrangements. They believe that I should be able to continue using the ambulance service until arrangements for my home dialysis are in place, which should be completed in about two months. The ambo's (ambulance officers) tell me there are two Code 3 ambulances set aside for non-essential transport (people like me), so they see no reason for any immediate change.
Meanwhile, my existing team of support workers (formerly known as 'carers') is being put under pressure by the fact that one (Julia) is going on extended leave next week. With this in mind, interviews have been taking place with potential candidates to be added to my team. Problems have arisen and many of those who would have been considered have dropped out due to delays in getting the essential paperwork (e.g. police checks, birth and qualification certificates, etc.) finalised by my service provider (ParaQuad) in order for them to start work with me.
I have had to call on past members of the team to come back and fill the gaps brought about by Julia's departure. Thankfully, this appears to be falling into place, although I will still need at least one new team member to come on board, so the sooner ParaQuad can get their act together the better. To be fair, ParaQuad are going through a transition of new staff who are still learning communication skills, so people like me have to be patient!
On top of all this, a close friend has been diagnosed with cancer and is about to undergo surgery.
On a brighter note, I attended the June 29 wedding of my nephew Nathan, to his lovely bride Jacquie, at the beautiful (but extremely cold) Tatra Receptions in Lilydale. It was a very happy occasion and did much to (briefly) dull the 'blues' surrounding me at the moment. My partner for the event was Barbara, a lady I met on one of the dating sites - very pleasant company and, hopefully, we will remain friends... but she has made it clear that's as far as our relationship will go!
I now look forward to July 20 when I am hosting my Housewarming Tea Party at my new residence in Strathdale. The 60+ invitations I mailed out have attracted only two responses at this stage, but RSVP date is not until July 12, so I'm hoping everyone is leaving their decision until the last minute (as they do!).
Such is (my) life!
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