Some days are diamonds...

Most of you will be familiar with lyrics of the song, "Some Days Are Diamonds" (which gives the alternative that "some days are stone". Well, naturally enough, I always keep chasing "diamond days"... with mixed success.

I discovered many moons ago that the secret to keeping on top of the 'negatives' in life is to 'create' things to look forward to... and this is what I do to the best of my ability, hence my 'blogging' suffers at times. For example, at the moment, I am in the middle of an extremely busy period of scheduled appointments thirteen days in a row! These, of course, include my three days a week of dialysis, plus visits to three doctors, a podiatrist, shopping, etc.

The only two real "diamond days" were when I had lunch in town with my daughter Leanne, and the acceptance of an invitation to attend a childrens birthday party at the home of Roberta, one of my support workers. Her son, Ayden, turned ten years old and celebrated with 17 of his friends and their parents. Roberta's mum works part-time as a childrens clown and face painter, hence the results of her handiwork in the above photo. Most of those in attendance agreed that it was a vast improvement on my looks!

Further upcoming "diamonds" include the 150th Baptist Church Anniversary Celebrations on June 7, a proposed garage sale (where I hope to sell heaps of useless items that presently clutter my unit), the Presentation Night Dinner of the local Darts League (my team failed to make it into the finals) and a journey to my brothers hometown of Maryborough on Friday, June 26 when I am to give a talk and officially introduce Geoff as the incoming President of his local Rotary Club.

The garage sale is designed to help me raise a few dollars for a very big "diamond"... my proposed trip to Christchurch, New Zealand, later this year. I only have enough money saved to pay for my airfares/accommodation, but nowhere near enough to cover the additional costs of taking a carer with me.

Why Christchurch? In a word - dialysis. I have always wanted to see a bit more of New Zealand after a brief visit there in 1988 and I have been told they have a very good dialysis unit at the hospital in Christchurch. Of course, without that treatment there would be no more holidays for this individual!

Memories of Bygone Days!

This photograph was printed in the local newspaper (The Bendigo Advertiser) a few weeks ago and it brought back many happy memories of when I was a young(er) man.
Taken in 1963, it shows the Bendigo Baptist Church Intermediate Christian Endeavour group of that time with li'l ol' me smack dab in the centre of the front row! It also shows my brother Geoff and my best friend Harry Wilkinson, amongst many other friends I had in the group. This was part of an article written by the paper about the upcoming 150th Anniversary of the church, when I hope to be attending some of the celebrations.

My recent weeks have been uneventful, apart from when I went to see a movie at the cinema for the first time in many moons. It was Gran Turana... a film I would highly recommend, starring Clint Eastwood.

My Easter was virtually a non-event as the pressure spots under my legs had become infected and were bleeding, thus I spent most of the time in bed in an attempt to relieve them. This will continue for some time, so I will be spending less time on my beloved computer!

The night before Good Friday was rather traumatic for me. My support worker who was due to do her shift putting me to bed at 9 p.m. phoned two hours earlier (just after I arrived home from my dialysis treatment) to say she was stranded out of town with a car that wouldn't start, so "sorry, but can you get someone else to do my shift"?

Phone calls to everyone in my team, plus the hospital, on call nurse and the after hours number of my service provider all met with negative results. By this time it was 10 p.m. and my legs were screaming for relief. I had broken out in a cold sweat and, in desperation, I checked the phone numbers on my computer of my past carers, phoning the only three that had not moved from their original addresses. The first two were also out of town and the third didn't answer!

I then rang another local service provider who said they couldn't help me because "our staff have not been trained to work with you". As I was speaking to them and telling them what I thought of them, the third of my past carers (Jan) rang to check who had called her earlier and told me that, after downing a quick cup of coffee, she would come around and put me to bed. I settled down to sleep at 11.30 p.m.

Needless to say I was also a trifle upset when the answering service of my service provider (Independence Australia, originally known as ParaQuad), said that their emergency calls were handled in the order of urgency, so I left a message saying my situation had become desperate and I needed to get to bed as quickly as possible.

I then waited for their expected return call... which came at 4 p.m. the following afternoon!!! They asked had I managed to get to bed yet, to which I mischieviously responded "no"... so they offered to send someone round to assist me! I then confessed that I HAD managed to get assistance, so they wished me a Happy Easter before hanging up... a great SERVICE provider!

I'm afraid the word "service" doesn't have the same meaning these days.

Snakes and bushfires!

A couple of quiet weeks since my last blog, yet the past few days have presented a horrific period for my city of Bendigo in Central Victoria with the devastating bushfires which have destroyed dozens of homes and taken at least one life (a man in a wheelchair) in their wake. Fortunately for me the fires were on the other side to where I live and, apart from the haze and smoke which drifted across my region, I saw very little of their impact.

On a more direct and personal level, above is a photo taken at "Harrymas" (see my previous post) of The James Brothers (Geoff and me) and I have lost one of my support workers who left for personal reasons (problems in her family) and will possibly be changing to another service provider in the next few weeks for my attendant care.

My thrice-weekly dialysis treatments continue with the usual painful needling, but - as pointed out by several of the nurses - "it's the best alternative"... the other alternative being to go without the treatment and die!

I have also commenced another season of playing competition darts. This is with a new team (for me), none of whom I knew before, so I'm not sure how we will go. Initial indications are that we will have an uphill battle to win many games.

It's birthday month in the family with my twin grandsons turning 15 on the 13th and my brother Geoff passing another milestone on the 23rd.

16 days in and... little has changed!

My team of carers are a great, but diverse bunch! All good workers and very caring, but I could easily imagine a TV lifestyle programme - or telemovie - being written around my life with them. One is a single mum with three children under 10, another is on the verge of a marriage break-up, a third is mixing her care duties with being a school teacher and a fourth is such a lover of all creatures great and small, that she will literally pick up a spider and carefully take it outside to continue its life in my garden! Each one has many other stories to tell, but one has to respect their privacy... and confidentiality is the keyword in being a carer.

NYE and I was spot on! I was in bed by 9.30 watching TV, which continued until I turned the sound down at midnight and saw the huge display of fireworks going off in Sydney and Melbourne, while I listened to the five or six being detonated in my street! My sole companion was the spider on my ceiling which was waiting for my carer to put him out the next morning to celebrate the first day of the new year amongst my pot plants.

I am looking forward to this coming Sunday where the remnants of my family... my brother Geoff, daughter Leanne and their respective partners and children... will join me to celebrate "Harrymas". This is our annual get-together in memory of our Dad (Harry), whose birthday was on January 6... we will sing a few of his favourite songs, look at some of his photographs and, in general, reminisce about the times we shared together.

Over the past week I have sent out, by both snail mail and email, over 100 invitations to family and friends for three 'events' I have planned for this year. The first is a backyard barbecue (yes, ANOTHER one!) in February, the second (in April) is the celebration of yet another birthday (I stopped counting them at 45!), with a reunion of some of the musicians and entertainers from the days when I ran a reasonably prominent entertainment Agency known as BAMPA (Bendigo Artists Management & Promotions Agency).

The third of these functions, to be held in July, is the annual reunion of my old band, "Insight", together with a get-together of members from the CJSC (Colin James Social Club) which was very successful in fundraising for local charities in Bendigo from the late 50's to the early 70's.

So, I'm "living in the past"! So, who cares? It was a damn good one, so why not??

OK 2009... Come on, give me your best shot!

The Christmas and New Year season always brings out the most reflective emotions in me and this year was no different. There was little I could do to prevent past memories from returning and even though I spent a pleasant enough Christmas Day with friends and family, I couldn't help but feel very much alone as I thought of my last Christmas in Geelong seven years ago. It was spent with my ex-wife Diane and our little family of pets... to me that was what Christmas is meant to be - shared with those you truly love and feel where you rightfully belong. Sadly, those days have long since passed and will never return.

New Years Eve is just a couple of days away and this will be yet another time of reflection for me. I will be spending it "home alone", probably watching television in bed after my support worker leaves around 10 p.m.

A few weeks back I forwarded copies of chapters 1 and 2 of the final draft of my autobiography to ten specially chosen friends and family members, with a view of getting their opinions on whether I was wasting my time pursuing it's publication and, in general, seeking their input as to where/how/if it could be changed to be of most interest to the general public. Of those ten, only three responded by asking me for more chapters. This comes as somewhat of a disappointment, although there could be any number of good reasons for their lack of response.

I believe - and I have been advised by several people - that I have an interesting story to tell, so I obviously want to do it in the best way possible... simply to leave something of myself behind that may prove of interest and possible motivation to others. 28 chapters have been written with one or two more to complete when/if I get the incentive. This has already been a work in progress for the past 12 - 15 years and I am determined to take it as far as possible in the coming year, even if I self-publish, either in book form or on the web.

So, there you have it... my hopes and ambitions for 2009 - to find a soulmate and publish my autobiography - both carried over for several years. Will either eventuate is the million dollar question, but as each year passes the urgency is becoming more intense - for obvious reasons.

I would love to travel again to another country (maybe France, New Zealand or Singapore), but being tied to dialysis treatments three times a week will make this most unlikely - unless I have the operation to change to peritoneal dialysis, thus allowing me to take a machine wherever I go. I would also need the assistance of a friend (or partner) to travel with me for the purpose of connecting me to the machine each night... and to my mind this is not an ideal way to spend a holiday.

Hopefully I will return to this Blogging spot early in the New Year on a more positive note... being negative simply isn't the normal ME!!!

The End of Another Year... Phew!

Think I'd better get this one out of the way as soon as possible! The last few weeks have been a mix of highs and lows... the latter including two bouts of gastro and several days in the local AND Austin (Melbourne) Hospitals. The Austin for an operation to remove blood clots from my fistula (dialysis tube in my right arm).

The highs included a couple of barbecues at my place... one for old friends and the other for my team of support workers (carers) and their families/friends. I also had a welcome visit from Barbara - a friend from Melbourne (pictured).

The next few weeks will include a night out with friends at the local Bendigo Club where my brother's band (The Impalas) will be providing the music and Christmas Day, where I have been invited to have lunch at the home of my carer Roberta and dinner with my daughter Leanne and her family (no more gastro PLEEEEASE God!!!).

New Years Eve (if I survive Christmas) will be a quiet one at home alone.

Until then my days will be spent doing the usual belated Christmas shopping, writing on and posting cards.

My best wishes to you and yours for a happy end of year... with thanks for reading my blogs.