Easter and Beyond

Funny how both Easter and Christmas bring out the 'blues' (depression) in me. Maybe it's because these are supposed to be happy family times, but for a sentimental guy like me who has no immediate family (not even a partner) it's a bit easier to understand.

The closest family I have are my daughter (at present holidaying on the Gold Coast with her family) and my brother, who lives with his wife in Maryborough, Victoria. I see them both roughly once a month and the people I see most often are the nursing staff at dialysis (three times a week), who - although they are all quite friendly and pleasant - are not the most inspiring people I have ever met!

This Easter Sunday, as I did last year, I took part in the local Easter Parade. I accompanied the mother of one of my carers, known as "Kyra the Clown", as we followed the procession of floats and bands, etc., along the route. "Kyra", like me, was in a wheelchair this time, after suffering a broken spine in a recent fall. We chased each other in our chairs and charged playfully at the children in the crowd, smiling and waving at everyone as we wished them a happy Easter.

I feel this may be the final Easter Parade for both of us as the 'fun' element has dissipated over time... maybe age is catching up on us! I hope not.

I get around to it EVENTUALLY!

Would you believe it, I just read the 'Comments' section of my blogpage for the FIRST time since I started it (in March 2007). I know it's kind of a bit late, but thanks to each and every one of you for bothering to make a contribution to my blogs... much appreciated.

My journey to Geelong to receive the Life Membership Award from the BDRC (Barwon Disability Resource Council) came about as predicted in my previous blog. and my Bendigo carer (Roberta) and I enjoyed the trip which included Motel accommodation, taxi fares and meals as guests of the BDRC. That's a photograph of yours truly above with the Award.

This month will close with Roberta and I attending the combined 40th birthday and housewarming of my dear daughter Leanne, whose family moved into their new home just two weeks earlier. The occasion will be held on Saturday, November 27, just one day before the annual barbecue for my team of support workers (carers).

I invited the five current team members, plus two others who worked with me over an extended period in past years, but despite my semi-serious offer of payment to those who have been invited (I though a bribe might make them attend) it would appear that there may only be two coming (with their children), but more about that in my December Christmas blog.

Very Little News

I think I'm 'back to normal' after my doomsday outburst a couple of 'blogs' back, although nothing has changed in my quest for a partner to share my life. Dating sites continue to yield the (extremely) odd response from ladies who all tell me (if they respond at all) that they are already "seeing" someone or that they "don't think it would work out between us" - which usually means (in the nicest possible way, of course) they're not keen on getting hooked with a guy in a wheelchair OR they consider I'm too old to be of any use to them!

If only they would give me the courtesy of meeting them - BEFORE they make that decision!

I have an overnight trip to my old hometown of Geelong coming up on Monday, Oct. 25, returning the next day after a meeting of past/present members of the Barwon Disability Resource Council... the body I was part of several years ago.
More about that in my next 'blog'.

Maybe things are looking up!

After my 'outpouring of the blues' last week, I have been trying to get back to a better frame of mind, with a slight improvement being noticed by my excellent team of support workers.

At this point I must pay tribute to each of my four main workers... Julia, Roberta, Merryn and Glenda... each of whom have surpassed the formality of being my 'workers'... they are now my best friends and I love them all dearly.

Dear LORD, please give me the strength to carry on.

I must be honest and confess that the last two weeks of my life have been amongst the toughest - both mentally and physically - that I have ever encountered. Physically I spent just over two weeks in the Bendigo Base Hospital, which included several lovely trips to where what are commonly known as a series of 'procedures' took place. Mentally, I have sunk to the lowest level in my life and feel very alone.

The first of these 'procedures' came about when my heart (which was racing) was literally 'stopped' and then re-started by zapping it with two shock paddles... thankfully I was 'out to it' while this was going on! Needless to say I recovered from this ordeal to front up to the next 'procedure' which was called "an MRI".

In the MRI, one is conveyed inert through an extremely narrow tunnel, where a team of jack-hammers pummel your eardrums for about 20 minutes (at least you DO get your choice of music to listen to over the racket of the jack-hammers), while they x-ray your back - and I quite enjoyed as much as I could hear of a song called, "The Farmer's Daughter" - must play it on my programmes! The MRI revealed nothing more than I had once had a broken back (the doctor's said, "nothing serious"... it had only been a small break). Needless to say I'd never known a thing about my broken back.

Another 'procedure' to entertain - or educate - your terrorists was when a ghastly looking tube is literally shoved down your throat and pushed to where it can take pretty pictures of the back region of your heart - in order to see what 'bugs' are vegetating (the doctors couldn't find any bugs, but they apparently lurk in 'vegetation', so that was a waste of effort as well)!

Amongst all these were a regular progression of blood tests, aimed at putting a 'bung' in my hand (which made it easier for a serious of medical 'experts' to come and fill up their little phials with my blood to do MORE tests - those 'bugs' MUST be somewhere! The problem here is that the poor little veins in my crooked left arm (my right arm is off limits for anything to be poked in it) all cower in horror when they see an approaching needle... either that or they collapse. This 'failure to get their blood' causes the werewolf to come out of nurses, doctors, and all medico's and they all line up to have a go of who can claim their prize out of this difficult little turkey... I'm not sure what the prize is, but the winner is the successful 'bung' installer! I can normally tolerate these little blood tests, but - no exaggeration here, I had NO LESS than eleven medical staff try their hardest (all very painfully) to extract blood from my veins in the first instant.

Towards the end of these 'procedures' my mind had said 'enough is enough' and "I WANT NO MORE BLOOD TESTS", until one lady Indian Doctor begged me to have a go, so I gave in... she attacked from the other side of my bed, put the tourniquet on ABOVE my left elbow (all the others had started on my left and put the tourniquet UNDER my left elbow) and she was "in like Flynn"!

OK, add to the above countless interruptions to my attempted slumber for blood pressures, thermometers stuck in one's ear, etc., that my return home yesterday from fifteen days of unspeakable horror give me the impression that Hospitals Make You Sick". Other little things that upset me were being asked if I "wanted to use the bottle" and when I said, "yes please", they told me they would be 'back in a minute'... to return TWO HOURS LATER.

Well, there is more to the above story, but let me just conclude by saying I'm very glad to be home... complete with my undiscovered 'bugs', until next time.

Winter Time in Bendigo, Australia

The above photo shows the 2010 Bendigo Easter Fair Clowns... Back (L to R): Lateasha, Roberta, Kyra (Roberta's mum) and Front (L to R): me and Roberta's friends Kara and Caleb.

Yes, the cold chill of winter engulfs my bed each night and I can't help but lay in the dark and pull the sheets and blankets up over my shoulders, after saying my prayers (as I do) and try to drift off into Noddyland. It doesn't come easily. Living alone never does for me, but night times in winter is worst. Even cuddling into my teddy bear isn't very comforting (only jokin' about the teddy bear, but I still have no human bod to cuddle)!

No friends, I haven't 'blogged' for a while... nuthin' much to blog about, except the afore-mentioned "Swan Song", which took place on Friday, July 16. We had a fair crowd of around fifty people in the intimate and warm theatre, with all patrons seeming to enjoy the words and music we presented for them. My brother Geoff and old friend Olive Bice handled the musical backing superbly and Geoff acted as my 'interrogator/interviewer' in a style that any TV interviewer (including Parkinson) would be proud of.

If anyone wants a copy of the DVD recorded on the night, just let me know... there is a small cost of about AUD$15 for the two DVD's including postage.

Despite the thrice-weekly dialysis treatment of around five hours at a time and the resultant drying out of my vocal chords, the voice held up reasonably well, but I doubt whether I could do a full concert or dance function again.

My next project is the completion of my autobiography which, believe it or not, is getting closer every day and I'm hoping to have a launch date before the end of the year. I'm hoping to have a musical launch, combining the book with the release of my final CD of original songs, but - as always - time will be the determining factor.

My weekly schedule has changed slightly with my two radio programs now each Wednesday (country music from 12 to 2 p.m.) and Friday (requests and variety 12.30 to 2.30 p.m.). My co-presenter/panel operator is my support worker and good friend, Bobbie (Roberta) Exell and we seem to be developing a good rapport as a radio team, so tune us in some time. Our programs are heard around the world by logging into Phoenix 106.7 FM on your computer at www.phoenixfm.org and clicking on "Listen to Phoenix FM". If you have trouble, email me at coljames@bigpond.com.au

I have dropped out of darts for this season and will re-consider starting up at the end of next January... my team ended up in the preliminary final last June and I was awarded a Top 10 Certificate in my division for coming 2nd.

One area which my readers (you!) may be able to help me with is my search for some part-time income. Over the past month or so I have been searching through the numerous internet marketers and, as a result, have become terribly confused by their respective spiels and offers. Does anyone out there know one I can trust? I need to find some way of earning a few dollars before I can self-publish my book (unless you know of a friendly publisher). The other alternative is to publish on the web (on a 'pay per chapter' basis) or approach Amazon to consider putting it on their Kindle program. Any suggestions would be gratefully received, I assure you.

With that thought, I now leave you... but (as the man said) "I'll be back".

Cheers from Colin

Yet Another Milestone!

I 'celebrated' my latest milestone by spending three of my busiest days in recent history. They went like this:

Wednesday... No time for breakfast, as my day commenced with a visit from my brother and his wife who brought morning tea with them, followed less than an hour later by my taxi arriving to take me to Phoenix FM for the presentation of my two hour country music radio program, followed 15 minutes later to an appointment with my renal doctor (after a two hour wait in the clinic) - no time for lunch), followed by a quick trip home to get ready for a pleasant visit to my daughter's home for dinner with her and her family and home to bed.

Thursday (my birthday)... No time for breakfast as my day commenced with a visit from my service provider and an occupational therapist for revision of my support workers daily procedures (interrupted by a visit from a friend to give me a birthday gift!), then lunch and off to my dialysis appointment (five hours) and straight to my weekly darts competition (I won one game and lost another) and home to bed (alone).

Friday... Up for breakfast (yayyyyy!), just in time for a visit for another visit from my service provider. This time he brought with him a gent from D.H.S. (Dept. of Health Services) to check my living conditions, just before my taxi arrived to
take me to Phoenix FM to present my two hour comedy radio program, after which I did my weekly shopping (no time for lunch) and caught a late bus home with just enough time to change for dinner at the local Bendigo Club with friends for a belated birthday dinner.

Today... Back to a normal dialysis day!

On Sunday, April 18, we held what will be our final reunion of my old band, "Insight", where we entertained (?) no less than an attendance of FIVE patrons to four hours of country and rock music. Needless to say we all enjoyed it, but I think it is definitely time to call a day to that part of my career!!! My final 'swan song' will be in June when Olive Bice (my original singing partner) and I will present our final concert in Bendigo.

An Expensive Movie and an Unhappy Hip

In an attempt to alleviate the monotony of telling my friends "nothing different" to their question "wotcha bin doin'?" (no relation of Osama Bin Ladin), I decided to go to the movie, "Avatar", with one of my support workers. The 3D goggies and the animation were worth the effort and I gave it 7 out of 10 (a pretty good score for me). After leaving the theatre, we went shopping and I returned home without my wallet. Thanks to "Woolies", it eventually showed up, minus the $60 taken from the cash advance received after paying for my groceries (the finder obviously took their 'reward' before returning the wallet).

March 3rd commenced with yet another unscheduled hospital visit. I woke at 2 a.m. with an intense aching in my left hip, which spelt the end of my sleep for that night. I eventually rang one of my support team to get me a couple of panamax, which they did (after they went back to sleep for a couple of hours). By 6.30 a.m. with no relief from the panamax, I had had enough, so I phoned the ambulance which took another two hours to arrive and take me to the hospital for x-rays and blood tests, etc. All of this took until 2 p.m., by which time the the tests had revealed nothing and the pain had gone.

A self-diagnosis of gout, brought about by my recent cellulitis, was later confirmed by my doctors. Thus, they prescribed pain killers for the anticipation of further sleepless nights (but wait, there will be more?)!!!

On the Road Again... Just a quick update.

OK folks... let's see how long I last THIS time before I take another trip to the hospital!

I'm playing darts again (my team has won the first two rounds of the season and I have won 3-1 of my singles games) and I return to radio next Monday night (Feb. 8).

My leg still isn't quite back to normal, but it's on the improve and my Dr. seems satisfied with its progress.

All I need now is a good lady in my life or to win first division in lotto (preferably in that order!). Any suggestions anyone?

'Twas the night before Christmas...

I had completed my diaysis treatment for the day and was in a taxi on my way to my support workers home where I had been invited to stay the night. The caring lady, by name of Roberta, thought I may like to share Christmas morning with her family by getting up early and watching her three young children open up the goodies Santa had brought them.

Upon arriving and being welcomed at her home, I settled in to watch a bit of TV with them. Dialysis treatment always leaves me feeling tired and today was no exception, but now there was a different feeling... I was shivering with cold and my whole body had the shakes! After a few minutes I had to ask my friends to excuse me as I felt I must go to bed straight away.

The next thing I knew I was awake in a darkened room, in a strange bed with rails all around me! Was I in prison? No, I felt the rails and realised that they were part of the bed and it began to dawn on me where I was... in my support workers home!

Apparently I had 'blacked out' from the time I asked to go to bed and, somehow, Roberta had managed to get my lifeless body out of my wheelchair and into bed for the night.

After a few hours of intermittent sleep, I heard the pitter-patter of little feet... Roberta's children had woken up and were eager to open their presents. They had been told they must wait until I was out of bed and ready to watch the excitement.

Having been up several times during the night to check on my condition, Roberta dragged herself out of bed and came into my room and - finding I was more or less back to 'normal' - popped me back in my chair and prepared me to face Christmas Day 2009.

Presents were opened, breakfast was consumed, Roberta's family and friends began to arrive to celebrate the day with her and I was happy to be part of the gathering.

At lunchtime, I left Roberta's and caught another taxi to the home of my daughter, Leanne's, where she, her husband Craig and their boys - my grandsons - Jack, Ryan and Harry, had arranged for me to share a Christmas meal with them and their friends.

Feeling extremely tired - and full of good food - after all this activity, I arrived back home on the late afternoon of Christmas Day. Bed time that night brought back the 'shakes' and another mini-blackout!

The following morning, Boxing Day, brought a visit from the district nurse who took one look at my swollen left leg and immediately ordered an ambulance to take me to Hospital, where I was diagnosed with severe cellulitis.

Thus began 18 days of pain, needles, anti-biotics, sleepless nights, tears and mixed emotions, ending two days ago when I returned home to the care of my team of support workers. I still have to take things easy and only get up for limited amounts of time each day... but it beats being in hospital!

And so, it was a very different Christmas for me this year. My sincere apologies to those of you who didn't receive a greeting from me and the many whose emails went unanswered - I had just under 900 emails waiting for me to open when I got home (most of them were spam, of course).

Thanks a million to those of you who sent me Christmas greetings and to those who contacted me in hospital... you are all precious gems and very special to me. A special mention here to my brother Geoff and his wife Meryl, who visited me in hospital on several occasions, to friends Ron Nancarrow, Vera & Geoff Higgs and Kaye Butler who also visited, also to my daughter Leanne for her daily phone calls... and, of course, to Roberta and the others in my support team.

Now, to a necessarily slow recuperation. It will take some time until I return to the 'old me', but I'll get there. My regular radio programmes, darts and other activities may have to take a back seat for a little while, but WATCH THIS SPACE!

MORE Trophies!

We won! Pictured is li'l ol' me trying to hide behind two trophies collected on darts presentation night... one for being a member of the winning team and the smaller one for Best Average Score and most number of wins.

Anyway, enough of my bragging! November saw me with a new Visa card and cutting back on my spending (including food!) in an effort to save some money for buying Christmas presents. The blowdarts demonstration went well and I took part in the groups one-day tournament losing in the end to the captain of the Colac team. The main objective was achieved, however, by showing how I compete by using my special blowdarts equipment.

A BBQ for my support workers was not the greatest of successes with only three of my team in attendance, but it was still a social success and I'll have another early in 2010. A pre-Christmas dinner with friends and family went very well... 26 of us enjoyed a meal and each others company on Dec. 6 at the Bendigo Club.

Over 30 years ago, when I first lived in Bendigo, I was a member of the local Chess Club. My greatest achievement was winning the B-Grade Trophy one year. A good friend by name of Alan Williams, who played in A-Grade at the time, still lives here and during a recent visit he asked if I would "still like a game". Being one who never knocks back a challenge, I took him up on his offer and we now meet on a regular basis on Wednesday mornings... and he still thrashes me. Given time, however, I reckon I'll beat him!!

Almost Christmas and my usual last minute rush to print out my Annual Christmas Newsletters (also known as 'cards'), gift wrapping, etc. One of my support team, Roberta, has invited me to spend Christmas Eve at her home, so I can wake up Christmas morning and see her three young children open their gifts from Santa. I will leave there at Noon and go to my daughter Leanne's for Christmas lunch with her husband and my three grandsons, twins Jack & Ryan and young Harry.

May God be kind to us all for another twelve months and enrich our lives with good health, lots of love and peace in abundance.

As Christmas Approaches...

Well, I did it! I crammed as much activity into the past few weeks as I could and - as I write - am feeling a little better for it.


For example: I attended/did the following...

• church with one of my carers and her children
• a concert at the RSL Club that same evening to hear a band from Queensland which featured Sylvia, the drummer from one of my old bands
• two dinners with my singles' social club (which I am trying to revive)
• a picnic at the park across the road with one of my carers and her family (after which I had a stomach upset and had to get another carer to stay the night - just in case!)
• caught a bus to the shopping centre where my daughter works, had a chat with her and met her work mates
• accepted an invitation to give a blowdarts demonstration at the Colac Darts Club (three hours drive each way with one of my carers and her husband).

Still on the subject of darts, on November 19 the darts team I play for will contest the Grand Final... and, I feel, we have a good chance of winning. I have been happy with my form in having gone through the season undefeated. I lost my first singles game in the semi-final (best of three), however, but recovered to win 2 - 1.

I had two overnight visits from my Melbourne friend Barbara. She came with me to my community radio program on Phoenix FM... also a visit from Lisa, one of my ex-Geelong carers. She brought me some irish stew and I have always LOVED Lisa's irish stew!

Incidentally, Phoenix FM is streamed all over the world through the internet, so my program can be heard live by anyone with a computer. I have a number of listeners in Ireland who have sent me CD's and DVD's of some of their top artists which makes it all worthwhile. It would be great to 'spread the word' even further, so if you - or anyone you know - are interested.

I am on air every second Monday night from 8 to 10 p.m. (Australian Eastern Daylight Saving Time). Just login to http://www.phoenixfm.org/ and click on the Phoenix FM logo. My on-air dates to the end of this year are Mondays, Nov. 16, 30 and Dec. 14, 28.

I enjoy the challenge of trying to track down requests from my listeners. These are open to any genre of music and are usually played in the first hour of my programme. If you would like me to play any of your favourite songs please get in touch. My email address is coljames@bigpond.com.au.

All of the above and then... a new experience. I went absolutely broke! For the first time I owed the bank money... and began living from week to week on my disability pension. I even had to borrow from my carers to buy lunch!

And so, a new goal in my life... to claw my way back financially in time for Christmas! To make this task a little harder I went shopping for groceries yesterday and looked in my wallet to find my Visa card had gone missing. A thorough search proved fruitless, so I had no alternative but to cancel my old card and order a new one.

Ned Kelly was right... "such is life"!

Time to take my own advice!

I'm not sure why I am writing this particular blog. Maybe it's because I feel particularly alone today and that's when blogs can help to fill a void... someone to talk to when there's no one to talk to! I'm not trying to hide the fact that I am still wishing, hoping and praying for someone to enter my life as a friend, lover and soulmate. I simply don't feel 'complete' as I am.

All the emails I receive from people I rarely (if ever) see are welcome, but they are not the same as communicating in flesh and blood and my greatest fear at these times appears more and more likely of eventuating - that of ending my days alone.

Apart from emails, my most immediate contacts are my support workers... most have become good friends. They tell me I should be satisfied with my life as I have had three good marriages. I can't agree with that though because, for a start, if they were so good I would not be on my own right now, would I? Also, there is little value living in the past... it's the FUTURE I want to look forward to, not the past. I'd like to feel I still have a future.

I always tell others that they have to make things happen in their lives... create things or events... so I guess it's time I took my own advice. Watch this space!

THIEVES IN THE NIGHT!

As I go through a period of sleepless nights (don't know why... just a combination of itches and a restless mind, I think) I am usually awake until mid morning. So it was a couple of weeks ago when, at 3 a.m., I heard a woman and a man chatting nearby, followed by the closing of a car door, the revving of a motor and the departure of a vehicle. Little did I know until 8 a.m. when the police knocked at my door that I had been listening to the theft of my neighbours car!

The police wanted to know if I had heard anything during the night, so I gave them the above information. A little later in the morning I spoke to my neighbour who was obviously upset, not only by the loss of his car, but by the fact that the police had since found it burnt out in a nearby rubbish tip! Add to this that he was blaming himself for leaving the keys in the ignition, also that he was not insured, and one can understand how bad he was feeling.

The dawning of Spring...

An uneventful few weeks have passed since my last blog. The only real change in my life has been the long awaited installation of ceiling hoists in my bedroom and bathroom (I can now take an occasional bath!). This is a real asset to my team of support workers who, until now, have had to manoeuvre my portable hoist through doorways and around obstacles in the bedroom in order to get me in/out of my wheelchair.

I have actually started on the final chapters of my autobiography... making notes from Christmas newsletters I have written over the past few years in order to bring the book to an updated conclusion. This has been a sad task in many ways as it has revived painful memories of my broken marriage, the passing of much loved pets and numerous health-related issues but, of course, mercifully twixt the gloomy times are sandwiched a lot of happy memories.

I spent three days in hospital recently for diagnosis and treatment of staphylococcus aureus (a bug in the blood)... not a pleasant experience but, thankfully, it was soon cleared through the anti-biotics administered by dialysis.

May your Spring be filled with happy days of love, warmth and sunshine!

Mid-Winter Blues???

OK folks, be prepared for this 'open minded, hearts'n flowers, tissue filling tears'n all,' blog as I get a few things off my chest... and a bra isn't one of them!

I recently sorted through lots of memorabilia with the intention of getting rid of stacks of seldom used, no longer needed, items at my garage sale. The day in question greeted us with threats of rain, cold and gusty winds and the sort of weather one would expect at the north (or south - whichever is coldest) pole... certainly not condusive to attracting the masses to a garage sale.

A few friends and I braved the elements for a few hours as we waited patiently to make our fortunes (one man's trash is another man's treasure sort of thing), but the few bargain hunting souls who came through the gate turned up their coat collars (and noses), did a quick 'about turn' and exited, muttering things like "who'd want that junk anyway". We sold a couple of items which were 'real bargains' at $2 or $3 only to be asked if we would accept $1.50 - which we did!

So, about three hours later and $5 richer, we gave up and retreated indoors to the heater... undaunted but determined to "try again" later in the year when at least the weather should be a little kinder. In the meantime I'll forget all thoughts of saving for a holiday in Christchurch!

Amongst the old VCR's I re-discovered a lot of home movies which, thanks to my brother Geoff, I have had copied on to discs. This gives them a longer life and makes them more convenient for viewing. On the negative side however, came looking back at happier times, such as my 50th birthday celebrated with old friends - most of whom (for various reasons) are no longer around, together with the holidays in America and Europe shared with my wife Diane... well, those times now seem too good to be real.

Not forgetting those thirteen wonderful months when Diane and I lived in Paschendale (western Victoria) with our pet dogs Tess & Ollie, cats Claude & Mintie and our darling pet goat, Sybil... all happy memories - sadly missed - which will live on in my mind forever (can you hear those violins in the background?).

Then, just two weeks ago, came the much anticipated reunion of my old band, "Insight". Approx. 50 invitations were mailed out and a similar number of emails were despatched to old friends and fans of the group asking them all to 'get in early' as this may be the last time we will be holding one of these functions. I printed several posters and circulated these as widely as possible, initiated some radio and newspaper advertising, conservatively booked 60 'afternoon teas' for our anticipated guests and waited for the bookings to roll in.

Four days before 'show time', we cancelled the event and advised the THREE people who had booked that we had more in the band than there would be seated at tables! Undaunted (again) we are thinking of re-scheduling what we will advertise as the "Final Insight Reunion" in September or October.

Most mornings of my life I have awoken to positive thoughts of how much I intend to do and eargerly looking forward to the brand new day. Over recent weeks, however, after an average of 3 - 4 hours of interrupted sleep each night broken by lengthy bouts of scratching skin irritations (diagnosed as dermatitis) and the after effects of prescribed sleeping tablets (which only work in the latter hours) I awake feeling - and looking - like a "mumbie" (a cross between a mummie and a zombie).

On non-dialysis days (Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays) I spend much of my time gazing out the window with eyes half-closed or in front of the computer contemplating what to do next! Perhaps it's a reaction to my sleeplessness or the cold weather, but the needles penetrating my arm at dialysis time seem to be more painful than ever and the nurses are having more difficulty finding the right spots to 'jab'.

Each dialysis treatment takes four hours laying on my back while the machine I'm attached to does its work. Those four hours I usually spend trying to catch up on some sleep or thinking of how I could be putting all those hours to better use. I even do maths in my head! For example, at two needles per dialysis three times a week I worked out I have a minimum of 260 needles in my arm each year... riveting stuff!

The only really bright spots in recent weeks were brief visits from friends Harry & Glenda Wilkinson (Wangaratta) and Barbara (Melbourne)... bright spots on otherwise cold, wet and gloomy days!

Some days are diamonds...

Most of you will be familiar with lyrics of the song, "Some Days Are Diamonds" (which gives the alternative that "some days are stone". Well, naturally enough, I always keep chasing "diamond days"... with mixed success.

I discovered many moons ago that the secret to keeping on top of the 'negatives' in life is to 'create' things to look forward to... and this is what I do to the best of my ability, hence my 'blogging' suffers at times. For example, at the moment, I am in the middle of an extremely busy period of scheduled appointments thirteen days in a row! These, of course, include my three days a week of dialysis, plus visits to three doctors, a podiatrist, shopping, etc.

The only two real "diamond days" were when I had lunch in town with my daughter Leanne, and the acceptance of an invitation to attend a childrens birthday party at the home of Roberta, one of my support workers. Her son, Ayden, turned ten years old and celebrated with 17 of his friends and their parents. Roberta's mum works part-time as a childrens clown and face painter, hence the results of her handiwork in the above photo. Most of those in attendance agreed that it was a vast improvement on my looks!

Further upcoming "diamonds" include the 150th Baptist Church Anniversary Celebrations on June 7, a proposed garage sale (where I hope to sell heaps of useless items that presently clutter my unit), the Presentation Night Dinner of the local Darts League (my team failed to make it into the finals) and a journey to my brothers hometown of Maryborough on Friday, June 26 when I am to give a talk and officially introduce Geoff as the incoming President of his local Rotary Club.

The garage sale is designed to help me raise a few dollars for a very big "diamond"... my proposed trip to Christchurch, New Zealand, later this year. I only have enough money saved to pay for my airfares/accommodation, but nowhere near enough to cover the additional costs of taking a carer with me.

Why Christchurch? In a word - dialysis. I have always wanted to see a bit more of New Zealand after a brief visit there in 1988 and I have been told they have a very good dialysis unit at the hospital in Christchurch. Of course, without that treatment there would be no more holidays for this individual!

Memories of Bygone Days!

This photograph was printed in the local newspaper (The Bendigo Advertiser) a few weeks ago and it brought back many happy memories of when I was a young(er) man.
Taken in 1963, it shows the Bendigo Baptist Church Intermediate Christian Endeavour group of that time with li'l ol' me smack dab in the centre of the front row! It also shows my brother Geoff and my best friend Harry Wilkinson, amongst many other friends I had in the group. This was part of an article written by the paper about the upcoming 150th Anniversary of the church, when I hope to be attending some of the celebrations.

My recent weeks have been uneventful, apart from when I went to see a movie at the cinema for the first time in many moons. It was Gran Turana... a film I would highly recommend, starring Clint Eastwood.

My Easter was virtually a non-event as the pressure spots under my legs had become infected and were bleeding, thus I spent most of the time in bed in an attempt to relieve them. This will continue for some time, so I will be spending less time on my beloved computer!

The night before Good Friday was rather traumatic for me. My support worker who was due to do her shift putting me to bed at 9 p.m. phoned two hours earlier (just after I arrived home from my dialysis treatment) to say she was stranded out of town with a car that wouldn't start, so "sorry, but can you get someone else to do my shift"?

Phone calls to everyone in my team, plus the hospital, on call nurse and the after hours number of my service provider all met with negative results. By this time it was 10 p.m. and my legs were screaming for relief. I had broken out in a cold sweat and, in desperation, I checked the phone numbers on my computer of my past carers, phoning the only three that had not moved from their original addresses. The first two were also out of town and the third didn't answer!

I then rang another local service provider who said they couldn't help me because "our staff have not been trained to work with you". As I was speaking to them and telling them what I thought of them, the third of my past carers (Jan) rang to check who had called her earlier and told me that, after downing a quick cup of coffee, she would come around and put me to bed. I settled down to sleep at 11.30 p.m.

Needless to say I was also a trifle upset when the answering service of my service provider (Independence Australia, originally known as ParaQuad), said that their emergency calls were handled in the order of urgency, so I left a message saying my situation had become desperate and I needed to get to bed as quickly as possible.

I then waited for their expected return call... which came at 4 p.m. the following afternoon!!! They asked had I managed to get to bed yet, to which I mischieviously responded "no"... so they offered to send someone round to assist me! I then confessed that I HAD managed to get assistance, so they wished me a Happy Easter before hanging up... a great SERVICE provider!

I'm afraid the word "service" doesn't have the same meaning these days.

Snakes and bushfires!

A couple of quiet weeks since my last blog, yet the past few days have presented a horrific period for my city of Bendigo in Central Victoria with the devastating bushfires which have destroyed dozens of homes and taken at least one life (a man in a wheelchair) in their wake. Fortunately for me the fires were on the other side to where I live and, apart from the haze and smoke which drifted across my region, I saw very little of their impact.

On a more direct and personal level, above is a photo taken at "Harrymas" (see my previous post) of The James Brothers (Geoff and me) and I have lost one of my support workers who left for personal reasons (problems in her family) and will possibly be changing to another service provider in the next few weeks for my attendant care.

My thrice-weekly dialysis treatments continue with the usual painful needling, but - as pointed out by several of the nurses - "it's the best alternative"... the other alternative being to go without the treatment and die!

I have also commenced another season of playing competition darts. This is with a new team (for me), none of whom I knew before, so I'm not sure how we will go. Initial indications are that we will have an uphill battle to win many games.

It's birthday month in the family with my twin grandsons turning 15 on the 13th and my brother Geoff passing another milestone on the 23rd.