Easter and Beyond

Funny how both Easter and Christmas bring out the 'blues' (depression) in me. Maybe it's because these are supposed to be happy family times, but for a sentimental guy like me who has no immediate family (not even a partner) it's a bit easier to understand.

The closest family I have are my daughter (at present holidaying on the Gold Coast with her family) and my brother, who lives with his wife in Maryborough, Victoria. I see them both roughly once a month and the people I see most often are the nursing staff at dialysis (three times a week), who - although they are all quite friendly and pleasant - are not the most inspiring people I have ever met!

This Easter Sunday, as I did last year, I took part in the local Easter Parade. I accompanied the mother of one of my carers, known as "Kyra the Clown", as we followed the procession of floats and bands, etc., along the route. "Kyra", like me, was in a wheelchair this time, after suffering a broken spine in a recent fall. We chased each other in our chairs and charged playfully at the children in the crowd, smiling and waving at everyone as we wished them a happy Easter.

I feel this may be the final Easter Parade for both of us as the 'fun' element has dissipated over time... maybe age is catching up on us! I hope not.

I get around to it EVENTUALLY!

Would you believe it, I just read the 'Comments' section of my blogpage for the FIRST time since I started it (in March 2007). I know it's kind of a bit late, but thanks to each and every one of you for bothering to make a contribution to my blogs... much appreciated.

My journey to Geelong to receive the Life Membership Award from the BDRC (Barwon Disability Resource Council) came about as predicted in my previous blog. and my Bendigo carer (Roberta) and I enjoyed the trip which included Motel accommodation, taxi fares and meals as guests of the BDRC. That's a photograph of yours truly above with the Award.

This month will close with Roberta and I attending the combined 40th birthday and housewarming of my dear daughter Leanne, whose family moved into their new home just two weeks earlier. The occasion will be held on Saturday, November 27, just one day before the annual barbecue for my team of support workers (carers).

I invited the five current team members, plus two others who worked with me over an extended period in past years, but despite my semi-serious offer of payment to those who have been invited (I though a bribe might make them attend) it would appear that there may only be two coming (with their children), but more about that in my December Christmas blog.

Very Little News

I think I'm 'back to normal' after my doomsday outburst a couple of 'blogs' back, although nothing has changed in my quest for a partner to share my life. Dating sites continue to yield the (extremely) odd response from ladies who all tell me (if they respond at all) that they are already "seeing" someone or that they "don't think it would work out between us" - which usually means (in the nicest possible way, of course) they're not keen on getting hooked with a guy in a wheelchair OR they consider I'm too old to be of any use to them!

If only they would give me the courtesy of meeting them - BEFORE they make that decision!

I have an overnight trip to my old hometown of Geelong coming up on Monday, Oct. 25, returning the next day after a meeting of past/present members of the Barwon Disability Resource Council... the body I was part of several years ago.
More about that in my next 'blog'.

Maybe things are looking up!

After my 'outpouring of the blues' last week, I have been trying to get back to a better frame of mind, with a slight improvement being noticed by my excellent team of support workers.

At this point I must pay tribute to each of my four main workers... Julia, Roberta, Merryn and Glenda... each of whom have surpassed the formality of being my 'workers'... they are now my best friends and I love them all dearly.

Dear LORD, please give me the strength to carry on.

I must be honest and confess that the last two weeks of my life have been amongst the toughest - both mentally and physically - that I have ever encountered. Physically I spent just over two weeks in the Bendigo Base Hospital, which included several lovely trips to where what are commonly known as a series of 'procedures' took place. Mentally, I have sunk to the lowest level in my life and feel very alone.

The first of these 'procedures' came about when my heart (which was racing) was literally 'stopped' and then re-started by zapping it with two shock paddles... thankfully I was 'out to it' while this was going on! Needless to say I recovered from this ordeal to front up to the next 'procedure' which was called "an MRI".

In the MRI, one is conveyed inert through an extremely narrow tunnel, where a team of jack-hammers pummel your eardrums for about 20 minutes (at least you DO get your choice of music to listen to over the racket of the jack-hammers), while they x-ray your back - and I quite enjoyed as much as I could hear of a song called, "The Farmer's Daughter" - must play it on my programmes! The MRI revealed nothing more than I had once had a broken back (the doctor's said, "nothing serious"... it had only been a small break). Needless to say I'd never known a thing about my broken back.

Another 'procedure' to entertain - or educate - your terrorists was when a ghastly looking tube is literally shoved down your throat and pushed to where it can take pretty pictures of the back region of your heart - in order to see what 'bugs' are vegetating (the doctors couldn't find any bugs, but they apparently lurk in 'vegetation', so that was a waste of effort as well)!

Amongst all these were a regular progression of blood tests, aimed at putting a 'bung' in my hand (which made it easier for a serious of medical 'experts' to come and fill up their little phials with my blood to do MORE tests - those 'bugs' MUST be somewhere! The problem here is that the poor little veins in my crooked left arm (my right arm is off limits for anything to be poked in it) all cower in horror when they see an approaching needle... either that or they collapse. This 'failure to get their blood' causes the werewolf to come out of nurses, doctors, and all medico's and they all line up to have a go of who can claim their prize out of this difficult little turkey... I'm not sure what the prize is, but the winner is the successful 'bung' installer! I can normally tolerate these little blood tests, but - no exaggeration here, I had NO LESS than eleven medical staff try their hardest (all very painfully) to extract blood from my veins in the first instant.

Towards the end of these 'procedures' my mind had said 'enough is enough' and "I WANT NO MORE BLOOD TESTS", until one lady Indian Doctor begged me to have a go, so I gave in... she attacked from the other side of my bed, put the tourniquet on ABOVE my left elbow (all the others had started on my left and put the tourniquet UNDER my left elbow) and she was "in like Flynn"!

OK, add to the above countless interruptions to my attempted slumber for blood pressures, thermometers stuck in one's ear, etc., that my return home yesterday from fifteen days of unspeakable horror give me the impression that Hospitals Make You Sick". Other little things that upset me were being asked if I "wanted to use the bottle" and when I said, "yes please", they told me they would be 'back in a minute'... to return TWO HOURS LATER.

Well, there is more to the above story, but let me just conclude by saying I'm very glad to be home... complete with my undiscovered 'bugs', until next time.

Winter Time in Bendigo, Australia

The above photo shows the 2010 Bendigo Easter Fair Clowns... Back (L to R): Lateasha, Roberta, Kyra (Roberta's mum) and Front (L to R): me and Roberta's friends Kara and Caleb.

Yes, the cold chill of winter engulfs my bed each night and I can't help but lay in the dark and pull the sheets and blankets up over my shoulders, after saying my prayers (as I do) and try to drift off into Noddyland. It doesn't come easily. Living alone never does for me, but night times in winter is worst. Even cuddling into my teddy bear isn't very comforting (only jokin' about the teddy bear, but I still have no human bod to cuddle)!

No friends, I haven't 'blogged' for a while... nuthin' much to blog about, except the afore-mentioned "Swan Song", which took place on Friday, July 16. We had a fair crowd of around fifty people in the intimate and warm theatre, with all patrons seeming to enjoy the words and music we presented for them. My brother Geoff and old friend Olive Bice handled the musical backing superbly and Geoff acted as my 'interrogator/interviewer' in a style that any TV interviewer (including Parkinson) would be proud of.

If anyone wants a copy of the DVD recorded on the night, just let me know... there is a small cost of about AUD$15 for the two DVD's including postage.

Despite the thrice-weekly dialysis treatment of around five hours at a time and the resultant drying out of my vocal chords, the voice held up reasonably well, but I doubt whether I could do a full concert or dance function again.

My next project is the completion of my autobiography which, believe it or not, is getting closer every day and I'm hoping to have a launch date before the end of the year. I'm hoping to have a musical launch, combining the book with the release of my final CD of original songs, but - as always - time will be the determining factor.

My weekly schedule has changed slightly with my two radio programs now each Wednesday (country music from 12 to 2 p.m.) and Friday (requests and variety 12.30 to 2.30 p.m.). My co-presenter/panel operator is my support worker and good friend, Bobbie (Roberta) Exell and we seem to be developing a good rapport as a radio team, so tune us in some time. Our programs are heard around the world by logging into Phoenix 106.7 FM on your computer at www.phoenixfm.org and clicking on "Listen to Phoenix FM". If you have trouble, email me at coljames@bigpond.com.au

I have dropped out of darts for this season and will re-consider starting up at the end of next January... my team ended up in the preliminary final last June and I was awarded a Top 10 Certificate in my division for coming 2nd.

One area which my readers (you!) may be able to help me with is my search for some part-time income. Over the past month or so I have been searching through the numerous internet marketers and, as a result, have become terribly confused by their respective spiels and offers. Does anyone out there know one I can trust? I need to find some way of earning a few dollars before I can self-publish my book (unless you know of a friendly publisher). The other alternative is to publish on the web (on a 'pay per chapter' basis) or approach Amazon to consider putting it on their Kindle program. Any suggestions would be gratefully received, I assure you.

With that thought, I now leave you... but (as the man said) "I'll be back".

Cheers from Colin

Yet Another Milestone!

I 'celebrated' my latest milestone by spending three of my busiest days in recent history. They went like this:

Wednesday... No time for breakfast, as my day commenced with a visit from my brother and his wife who brought morning tea with them, followed less than an hour later by my taxi arriving to take me to Phoenix FM for the presentation of my two hour country music radio program, followed 15 minutes later to an appointment with my renal doctor (after a two hour wait in the clinic) - no time for lunch), followed by a quick trip home to get ready for a pleasant visit to my daughter's home for dinner with her and her family and home to bed.

Thursday (my birthday)... No time for breakfast as my day commenced with a visit from my service provider and an occupational therapist for revision of my support workers daily procedures (interrupted by a visit from a friend to give me a birthday gift!), then lunch and off to my dialysis appointment (five hours) and straight to my weekly darts competition (I won one game and lost another) and home to bed (alone).

Friday... Up for breakfast (yayyyyy!), just in time for a visit for another visit from my service provider. This time he brought with him a gent from D.H.S. (Dept. of Health Services) to check my living conditions, just before my taxi arrived to
take me to Phoenix FM to present my two hour comedy radio program, after which I did my weekly shopping (no time for lunch) and caught a late bus home with just enough time to change for dinner at the local Bendigo Club with friends for a belated birthday dinner.

Today... Back to a normal dialysis day!

On Sunday, April 18, we held what will be our final reunion of my old band, "Insight", where we entertained (?) no less than an attendance of FIVE patrons to four hours of country and rock music. Needless to say we all enjoyed it, but I think it is definitely time to call a day to that part of my career!!! My final 'swan song' will be in June when Olive Bice (my original singing partner) and I will present our final concert in Bendigo.